


Like a Goat and Carriage

by carleton97



Series: Yudonia [1]
Category: Drake & Josh
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-21
Updated: 2007-04-21
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:10:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carleton97/pseuds/carleton97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he'd known that being married meant he got to drink a bucket of wine and get a blow job from a hot foreign chick he'd have gotten hitched years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like a Goat and Carriage

**Author's Note:**

> This was coauthored by Jane and is the first story we wrote in what became known to us as the "Yudonian" AU. I created an entire history for the fake country and Jane and I plotted out the entire, lifetime relationship between the three.

Being married was _awesome_.

He'd been freaked out about it at first but he was starting to think that maybe he'd been a little hasty. If he'd known that being married meant he got to drink a bucket of wine and get a blow job from a hot foreign chick he'd have gotten hitched years ago.

\- - -

He thought that maybe he should have listened more closely when Yooka was explaining the whole co-spouse thing because long after the ceremony was done and the weird Yudonian guy left, Yooka sneaked back to their house and locked the three of them in the bedroom and pulled her shirt off.

He also thought that maybe he drank a little too much of the celebratory wine because watching his wife - his _wife_! - strip his stepbrother/co-spouse down to his boxers while kissing him was pretty hot. And then thought was pretty much gone. It sort of got lost in a fuzzy haze of wine and Yooka's mouth and the urge to squeal, _holy shit! I'm having sex!_

Yooka nipped at his lip and shifted underneath him, doing _something_ that made him shudder, then suddenly he was on his back, staring up at her sort of scary smile. He blinked a couple of times, but he was still inside of her and her tits were _right there_ so he really wasn't going to complain. Not even when she motioned Josh over from where he had been curled up near the edge of the cushiony pallet-thing Yooka had ordered them to create.

Josh crawled up next to them, looking flushed and a little lost, before she pulled him closer and got him to straddle one of Drake's legs. She leaned back, letting Josh support some of her weight, and kissed him again. Drake could see their tongues sliding against each other and it was so so so hot. Lust twisted in his stomach and he bucked up a little harder, forcing a muffled moan out of Yooka. She broke her kiss with Josh and did this weird little hip roll thing, moaning again and moving a little faster on Drake.

Drake watched her push the hand Josh had on her stomach downwards and he had to close his eyes before he _really_ looked because if he looked, it would be all over and he _never_ wanted this to end. Yooka's breathing faltered and she jerked, clenching rhythmically on his cock and shouting in Yudonian. Drake opened his eyes to see Josh turn his face into her neck, his left hand holding her breast and his right - _oh, god_ \- his right hand was pressed between Yooka's legs, rubbing tight circles as she gripped his wrist with whitening fingers. Drake's eyes fluttered shut on their own as he tried to push himself deeper into her, but they snapped open again when he felt a touch ghost over his cock. He could just barely see Josh peeking at him from behind the curtain of Yooka's hair and another touch snaked down over the base of his cock and that was it.

His hands clamped down on Yooka's hips and all he knew for a long, long time was a rush of _whitewhitebrighthot_

\- - -

"You will take Josh now, yes?"

"Excuse me?" Drake just _knew_ he was blinking stupidly.

"We must complete ceremony." She said matter-of-factly, climbing off him, leaving him all cold and... sticky.

He sat up quickly, covering his johnson with one hand. "I don't think that we really _must_. Couldn't we just, you know..." He motioned to her and then to his hand-covered dick, "Half-done is good. I'm a big fan of half-done."

"No, no, I explain already. You take Josh now and complete ceremony."

"Yooka - "

"It is very important, Drake. You will do this."

He could feel Josh looking at him but there was no way he was going to meet his eyes. He tried again, "Yooka - "

"It's okay with me," Quiet and shaky from Josh.

He blinked hard and opened his mouth to say something like _what?_ or _huh?_ or _really?_ but couldn't manage to get it out. Because Josh was curled in tight little ball, squeezing that stupid pillow to his chest so hard it was amazing the seams hadn't popped, staring down at the blankets, and ... waiting for Drake to say 'no way.'

Which is exactly what he should say because this was way beyond too fucked up for him. Josh was his _stepbrother_ and Yooka was ... well, his wife and, oh, man, he couldn't even cope with this. Why did all the weird shit have to happen to him? It was like he was a weird shit _magnet_ or something. He reached up and rubbed his forehead, he needed some more of that ceremonial wine.

"Drake?"

"Sure. Sure, let's finish the crazy ceremony. Why the hell not? I'm drunk."

Josh jerked his head up, his mouth hanging open and his eyes huge. Yooka made a little squealing noise and clapped her hands together, her tits bouncing all... bouncy-like.

Drake rolled to his knees and shuffled a little closer to Josh, but stopped after a second. He really had _no_ idea what he was doing here. Well, he knew point A and he knew point B, but getting from one to the other was pretty much a mystery to him. He shrugged a little at Yooka and was strangely relieved when she rolled her eyes and muttered something in Yudonian.

She lay down next to Josh, petting his back and nestling her head next to his. She whispered something in his ear and Josh flushed, dropping his eyes from Drake's to look down at the floor before mumbling back, "A few times."

Yooka smiled at Josh and hugged him for a second. She dropped a kiss on his cheek and sat up, looking around their room before standing up and rummaging through the stuff on top of Josh's dresser.

Drake recognized the shape of Josh's bottle of hand lotion and felt himself turning red when he realized where that lotion was going. Jesus. What the hell was he doing? He shook his head a little and turned back to where Yooka was kneeling next to Josh, kissing him and coaxing him to let go of the pillow and to take off his boxers.

He hadn't even realized that Josh still had his boxers on.

\- - -

He'd never seen Josh's dick before - not that he'd _wanted_ to or anything - and he knew that he should look away when the boxers came off but for some reason he just couldn't. It wasn't like he'd never seen another guy's dick before and it wasn't even like he'd never seen another guy's hard on before - he watched porn, he'd seen _plenty_ \- it was just... weird that it was Josh's.

Josh was innocent in a way that wasn't really young but just really good. He knew in the same way that he knew his parents had to have had sex at some point - a distant, I-really-don't-want-to-know-so-I'll-pretend-that-I-don't way - that Josh was probably just as horny as he was all the time. But denial was an amazing thing and to actually see total, undeniable proof for himself? To see more than Josh's forty-five minute showers and his _way too flushed and happy to just have been the water_ expressions afterward? To actually see Josh's dick so hard and ready and... God, it was like his eyes were stuck.

It was embarrassing and more than a little weird. He shifted carefully and, without thinking, pulled Josh's pillow over onto his lap. He wondered if Josh had had the same reaction when Yooka had stripped him down and started working her mouth magic. And then, with a twisting, jealous feeling in his gut, realized that Josh was packing more than him and thought, _God, I fucking hope he didn't._

He watched, frozen and all perv-like, as Yooka's hands slid up over Josh's knees and between his thighs, pushing them apart so she could move closer. Josh made a desperate, gasping kind of noise and Drake forced himself to look away from the way Yooka's hands were rubbing his thighs and up to Josh's face.

Josh was staring up at the ceiling with this completely terrified look on his face, his bottom lip freaking shaking, and Drake felt a pang of sympathy for him. This whole thing was stupid; Josh was terrified and it was so stupid to do this just because Yooka was hot-but-totally-whacked. He opened his mouth to call it off, to tell Yooka to back off his brother before Josh had a heart attack or his brain exploded or something, but before he could get it out, Josh gasped loud, his eyes going even wider - something that Drake didn't even realize was humanly possible - and jerked his head up to look down at Yooka between his legs.

 _Blowjobs look weird,_ was the only thing that Drake could think, the only thing he _let_ himself think because if he thought about anything else, he'd have to think about the way Josh was squirming or the way his hands were twisted in the blankets or the noises he was trying to stifle.

That was no way to think about your step-brother, man.

It was just safer to look at Yooka. He liked the way her back curved into her ass and how he could see her tits swaying with her movements. He liked the way her hair fell across her shoulders and how her hands looked when they trailed down Josh's thighs. She pulled back after a few seconds, though, and urged him onto his stomach with a hand on his hip.

Josh hid his face in his arms when Yooka ran her hands over his freckled shoulders. He shivered when she squeezed a puddle of lotion on the base of his spine and Drake had to curl his fingers into tight fists to resist touching. _Wanting_ to touch your step-brother in dirty and possibly incestuous ways was just not normal.

Except Josh wasn't just his step-brother anymore, he was his co-spouse - which was kind of like his husband, but that was even weirder, so Drake stuck to co-spouse - and that had to trump step-brother.

Right?

And it wasn't like he spent a lot of time thinking about gay sex. Okay, maybe he thought about it a couple of times, but only in the vaguest sense of his dick and Kyle Morgan's ass. Besides, Kyle Morgan had been out since they were thirteen and Drake figured _every_ guy had thought about it at least once. He had to admit his thoughts never included watching his _wife_ push a lotion-slick finger into Josh's ass. Josh squirmed, rocking his hips against blankets and generally looking way more... porny than Drake ever thought he could.

Yooka rotated her finger slowly and grinned at him when Josh bunched the blankets up in his hands with a groan. It _was_ pretty hot. Then she grabbed Drake's hand with her free one and dragged his fingers through the puddle of lotion before guiding them down to join hers.

Inside Josh.

Holy _fuck_.

And Josh made this noise - sort of like it hurt - but he pushed back against their hands and rubbed the side of his face against the blankets like a cat. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was biting his lip and, god, it was insane. Yooka's pushed another finger inside and, for like a second, Drake just wanted her to move her damn hand out of the way. It was totally fucked up and made his stomach twist up in weird ways, and Drake added a second finger to distract himself.

His other hand was on Josh, totally without his permission, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he watched his and Yooka's fingers pushing into him for what seemed like _hours_ before Yooka pulled both of their hands out and looked at him all ... expectantly. Even after she huffed out an impatient breath and helped Josh prop his hips up with a folded pillow, it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize it was Time.

Time to have the big gay sex with his brother. Step-brother. Husband. Whatever.

God.

 _God._

He knee-walked up the bed a little, nudging Josh's legs farther apart, and leaned over to brace himself with a hand tucked in close to Josh's side. He was breathing fast under Drake, tense - almost shaking - with ... something. Maybe fear, but Drake hoped not. He slopped a handful of lotion over his dick, not even thinking about how he was hard for his - for Josh, and scooted forward the last few inches until he was pressed against him.

His first push slid off course, leaving a lotiony trail over Josh's thigh, surprising a little squeak out of both of them. He dropped down to his elbow and the angle was better, lining him up exactly right. Some instinct made him go slow, made him ignore the terriblewonderful pressure against his dick, and he waited for the slow easing of Josh's body around his.

Josh was hot inside, slick from all the lotion, and tight.

So tight Drake knew this had to be hurting him some. Yooka was curled up next to them, her face pressed close to Josh's and her hand softly petting his hair. Beneath the quiet whisper of Yudonian, he could hear Josh's hitching breath. He wanted to say _stop, it shouldn't hurt_ , but before he could, something gave way inside of Josh and the pressure eased, letting him the rest of the way in on one slow glide.

And Drake was so glad he'd already come once already because it was all he could do to hold on, to stay still until Josh moaned all quiet and pushed back against his hips. He just rocked a little at first, moving in tiny, nudging thrusts that made Josh squirm and Yooka lean up to kiss him. She bit his bottom lip - so _crazy_ \- before kissing Josh's shoulder and rolling away to curl up next to them on the pallet, obviously settling in for the show.

He decided to ignore her and kept moving slowly. After a couple of minutes, Josh felt a little more relaxed and he tried a real thrust, forcing a grunt out of Josh and moving them up a couple of inches on the blankets. He shoved his arms under Josh, holding on to his shoulders for leverage, and buried his face in his neck, not even caring he was mumbling in time with his hips.

He was in a zone, _the_ zone, moving with - moving _in_ \- Josh like they'd done this a thousand times before. He felt like he could do this forever, that the tingling rush moving down his spine and up his legs to his balls didn't matter at all. He wiggled his hand down between Josh's body and the squished up pillow - he figured a reach-around was the least he could do - and managed about a grope and a half before Josh tensed around him and came in shuddering pulses Drake could _feel_ in his dick. His own hand was slick with Josh's come when everything narrowed to his own body and the way it forced itself as far into Josh as it could manage before he nearly blacked out from the pleasure.

Drake stayed pressed against Josh until the sweat and ... other stuff was just too gross to take anymore. He shifted his hips back until he was free of Josh's body then flopped down next to him, decidedly _not_ thinking about why he left and arm and a leg draped over him.

Josh turned his head, letting Drake see how red his cheeks were and how he _still_ looked sort of scared. He bit his lip, not quite meeting Drake's eyes and that was just not _on_ considering what they just finished doing.

Which was another thing that would just freak him out if he thought about it, so he didn't. And he kept right on not thinking about things when he leaned forward and kissed Josh square on the mouth.

Josh was a little tentative at first, but when Drake licked over the seam of his lips, he came alive, rolling onto his side and pulling Drake so that they were pressed together. Obvious differences aside, it wasn't all that different from making out with a girl - another thing he wasn't thinking about - and it was still damn hot.

Yooka's - his _wife's_! - hands slid over his back and he felt her breath a second before her mouth closed over his earlobe.

Being married was _awesome_.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to LiveJournal


End file.
